


Not A Vampire

by wisia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sappy, Shaving, Shaving Kink, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 00:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisia/pseuds/wisia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How the fuck was Tony going to shave if he couldn't fucking see himself in the freaking mirror?</p><p>Chinese Translation by Siri: http://www.movietvslash.com/thread-149020-1-1.html</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Vampire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Siri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siri/gifts).



> This is for Siri who translated two of my Stony fics into Chinese. She requested the two shaving each other’s beards in the morning. I did a variation instead of that original request. So, I hope you like it. I was aiming for something funny, sweet and sappy. 
> 
> Thank you so much for translating. You’re awesome. :)

                “This is fucking bullshit,” Tony grumbled loudly in the restroom. He had everything ready—the piping hot water, the amazingly expensive but nothing else would do shaving cream, his handy razor (two in fact, one electric and one standard old timey like Rogers razor) and even the stellar one sniff and you’ll fall in love aftershave. So, yeah. He had everything all set up to shave and pretty himself up with. Because it was one of the rare occasions that Tony actually had the hour to devote all his attention on grooming his splendid goatee to perfection. That is if it wasn’t for one niggling tiny detail.

He couldn’t fucking see himself!

He was going to kill Loki. A few days ago, the Avengers had encountered the trickster who wasn’t up to his usual villain schemes for once. Instead, Loki took one look at them and decided to grace them with a random party favor for that day’s lack of mayhem. Everyone had something different, and Tony’s wonderful gift was in the inability to see himself in the mirrors and any other similar reflective surfaces. Thor assured them that it would wear off in a week or two, but that day wasn’t coming fast enough. So, he was going to kill Loki. Somehow.

                Tony glared at the razor in his hand. How the hell was he going to shave and not accidentally take off too much if he couldn’t see himself? Yeah, he could feel his beard. He could feel just how scratchy, patchy and annoying the hair growing in was but that didn’t mean he could outline his Van Dyke shape by feel! Was his hand, fingers even sensitive enough to tell?

                “Need help?” Steve’s voice sounded unexpectedly from the door. Tony dropped his razor and jumped back reflexively.

                “Fuck,” Tony swore. “Warn a guy will you?”

                Steve laughed and scooped up the razor with one easy stoop to the floor. He held the razor up to Tony with a questioning glance.

                “Electric?”

                “Not everyone’s a senior citizen like you,” Tony sniffed and snatched the razor out of Steve’s hand.

                “I’m not the only one who uses a regular blade,” Steve replied.

                “Barton doesn’t count,” Tony answered. “He’ll use anything he can, even if it was a ragged lid off a can of sardines. Which, I might tell you is highly unsanitary and probably full of rust.”

                “I was actually talking about Natasha,” Steve said, deadpanned. Tony squinted at him.

                “You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”

                Steve just smiled at him and tugged Tony closer to him. “Let’s take a look.”

                He tilted Tony’s chin up, fingers running down the jawline. Tony suppressed a shiver, eyes automatically going sideways to avoid eye contact. Even without looking, Tony could feel the intensity of Steve’s eyes on him, studying his every feature. He felt so naked and exposed.

                “I didn’t say you could touch me,” Tony said quietly and shifted his eyes back to meet Steve’s blue ones. It was enough to send something strangely intimate rushing down Tony’s gut.

                “No,” Steve hummed and brushed a thumb against Tony’s cheeks. “But you didn’t say anything last night when I had my fingers in your ass while you were—“

                “That’s different,” Tony interrupted as he pulled Steve’s fingers off. His cheeks heated because Steve Rogers had a filthy mouth, and it really _was_ different because Steve was touching his face again in that soft gentle way of his, almost cradling.

                “Not so different,” Steve whispered because he did everything with care.

                “Right,” Tony said, willing his cheeks to stop being pink. It wasn’t working, and the way Steve was looking at him proved it. “Are you going to help me shave or what? And god help you if you mess up my trademark look!”

                Steve just laughed and carefully wetted Tony’s beard, coating the hair with the cream.

                “I won’t if you keep still.”

                “Do I look like a hyperactive three year old to you, full of sugar?”

                “No, but you are a maniac genius.” Steve raised an eyebrow at him, and damn. Tony didn’t have a comeback for that.

                “I’m expert at keeping still,” Tony said at last.

                “I’m sure you are.” Steve’s voice was full of promises. “Under the right incentives.”

                And then his fingers were tracing out the shape of Tony’s beard, where the metal would need to go close to skin and remove all the imperfect edges. Tony swallowed hard as Steve reached for the straight razor.

                “I, really?” Tony stuttered. The blade looked sharp.

                “Old fashioned guy, remember?”

                Tony stilled, nearly holding his breath as Steve leaned forward and let the blade passed over skin. It was so near, so close, and Tony could hardly think. His nose was filled with the scent of Steve’s Old Spice, and his vision was completely obscured by the breadth of Steve’s height and size. His heart rattled in his chest, offset by the whir of the reactor as Steve smoothed a sweep over his Adam’s apple. It was almost too much, but Tony didn’t dare move and didn’t want to move. It was as if they were suspended in this moment, in this time.

                Steve helped him clean off the cream and stray hairs and dry off, patting on a dab of aftershave that stung just the slightest against the newly shaved skin.

                “Thanks,” Tony said, nearly choking on the word.

                “Hm,” Steve said. “Now I can do this.”

                And he kissed Tony on the lips. Tony fell into it eagerly, hand going directly to the back of Steve’s head to urge him closer. It was so good, so hot and perfect that Tony had to whine when Steve pulled away.

                “You—you can always do that,” Tony panted.

                “I know,” Steve said. There was a secretive look on his face as he ran a sly finger up Tony’s side. “By the way, did I ever tell you what Loki gave me?”

“Uh…”

“Let me show you. In bed.”


End file.
